


I Bloom Just for You

by SuperSpookyAlienInvaders



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Ben and Klaus are close, Drug Addiction, F/M, Ghosts, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, Lots of tears, M/M, Soulmarks are flowers, Suicidal Thoughts, They Try Though, also death, and death, siblings that aren't good at being siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-01-11 07:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18425439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperSpookyAlienInvaders/pseuds/SuperSpookyAlienInvaders
Summary: Springtime brings beautiful blooms, green sprouts poking through the soft, wet earth, opening for the world to marvel at. Summer sees the bees and butterflies busy at work, fluttering around on the soft current of warm wind. Lazy yet purposeful. Fall ushers in the fruits, colorful and ripe and lovely, the hard labor finally paid off.Winter is cold, barren, pale. A world of black and white. Winter is lonely and unforgiving.As his siblings' skin blossoms around him, Klaus finds himself stuck with nothing but a date running down his back. August 23, 1968. Embarrassed and disappointed that he never even had the chance to meet his soulmate, Klaus spends his life pretending to be soulmate-less until one unauthorized round trip to 1968 changes everything.





	1. SPROUT

**Author's Note:**

> What? I'm finally writing a soulmate AU? 
> 
> Soulmate AUs are literally my favorite thing, and I'm toying with the idea of doing a challenge/collection of Umbrella Academy Soulmate AUs bc I love them so much. If anyone has thoughts or would be interested, pleeeaaase tell me.
> 
> Love you all and hope you enjoy!

It was just Klaus’ luck that his soulmate was already dead, the typewriter-esque print a blunt stain down his spine. It appeared on his sixth birthday-their sixth birthday. It was painful, and Klaus had to excuse himself from the table, rushing into the bathroom and ripping up his shirt and vest. He struggled to see his back in the dim light, but the streak of black ink was clearly visible. 

_August 23, 1968._

After it stopped hurting, Klaus forgot about it. Grace explained soulmates when Diego got three tiny Grape Hyacinths on the inside of his wrist. Allison got a Tiger Lily two days later. Reginald must have gotten tired of them asking him what they were, why they were there, why, after Ben got two Begonias and a cluster of puffy dandelions appeared on Vayna’s skinny wrist, Luther and Klaus didn’t have any. Five had a Hydrangea, but he only showed Vanya. 

“The flowers are from your soulmate,” Grace told them in a special class one rainy Friday. “They appear as you and your soulmate grow. You must be careful; all your flowers disappear if you don’t meet your soulmate before you or he or she dies. If you meet them, however, people say all your flowers sprout around your grave when you’re buried.”

“Why don’t Luther and Klaus have any flowers?” Vanya asked softly, and Klaus cringed, rubbing absentmindedly at the umbrella tattoo on his wrist.

“Some people don’t have soulmates, Sweety,” Grace answered cheerily. “Others haven’t been born or have already died.”

“Already died? But we’re not old enough for that,” Allison said, matter-of-factly.

“People die all the time, Silly,” Grace smiled. Everyone but Klaus stared at her in shock. It wasn’t like they didn’t know that; it was just odd to hear it said out loud, especially in such an upbeat tone. 

Klaus knew all about it. There was a little Scandinavian girl with ratty pigtails that talked about how young she died at every opportunity she had. _“I was only seven years old. I’m seven, isn’t that funny? I died when I was only seven years old. I didn’t know how to swim because I was only seven.”_ After being unable to sleep because of her non stop chattering for three nights straight, Klaus told her that he knew how to swim even though he was only six and that he couldn’t care less that she was dead. He ran to Ben’s room after she started screaming, but he hadn’t seen her since. He learned how to speak Norwegian though, even if his vocabulary was limited to things like _dead_ and _seven_ and _I didn’t know how to swim_.

After the lesson, they never really talked about soulmates, their training and missions and other lessons took up most of the time. Klaus had the feeling their father didn’t like talking about soulmates because he chastised them for being unfocused anytime he heard Allison whispering about the new flower she woke up with or saw Ben roll up his sleeves to show Klaus the English Ivy that was slowly crawling up his left arm. It was nice and actually became the one thing Klaus was grateful their father did. It made it easier for him to talk about the Polish soldier that was teaching him to curse or the Russian woman who knew 84 ways to commit murder with a broom. 

Luther complained about how much Klaus talked, and Diego followed suit. Klaus didn’t care; he blatantly ignored them and continued to chatter away, repeating what the Australian that got killed by a spider the size of his fist said so Ben could have a conversation. He told Allison all about the Renaissance actor who was poisoned by her jealous understudy the night before her biggest performance ever. Allison fell in love. Until their thirteenth birthday, Klaus never hated a single ghost, well except for the girl that drowned when she was seven. They were respectful and kind and taught Klaus their native languages with a patience Reginald never had. Klaus had a great relationship with the ghosts up until the mausoleum.

Maybe he had just been lucky before. Maybe all the nice, lonely ghosts just disappeared once he became a teenager and there was no relation to the mausoleum whatsoever. Or maybe his father had fucked him up. He could say ‘Please stop’ and ‘Please go away’ in seventeen different languages, but the ghosts didn’t listen. No one listened anymore. Not Reginald when he begged not to be shut away again. Not Luther when he told them about all the dead people screaming on a mission in Italy. Not even Ben when Klaus crept into his room at night, crying, and asked Ben to talk or hit him or something to take his attention off the screeching.

Eventually Klaus put their lockpicking lesson to good use and raided Reginald’s liquor cabinet at midnight. He wasn’t particularly proud of it, but the giggly, bubbly, _numb_ feeling he got after choking down the gross liquid made up for it. For the first time in years Klaus’ room was empty. Silent. Klaus didn’t realize he was holding his breath until his chest started to hurt. Suddenly it was too quiet, and the drunken boy talked to his wall until he finally passed out. Pogo asked him about the missing alcohol the next day; Klaus told him that he’d never heard of it and stayed out of the sun.

Eventually the alcohol’s effect began to ebb away, and Klaus went searching for something more. There was hard liquor in a not-so-secret cabinet in the kitchen that Klaus used for a few months before sneaking out one night to look for something that would fit his need outside the Academy. He sweet talked a college kid into letting him hit his blunt and ended up stealing a few grams from a drunk guy stumbling out of a bar.

Ben was sitting on his bed when Klaus climbed back through the window, shutting it as quietly as possible. “Where were you?” Number Six asked; he blended right in with the shadows.

“Christ on a coconut!” Klaus exclaimed before slapping a hand over his mouth in a fit of giggles.

Ben sighed, “You’ve got to stop saying that. Christ and coconut don’t even rhyme.”

Klaus guessed that was as close as Ben would ever come to saying he was forgiven. “Cracker, then. Christ on a cracker.” Klaus broke into another fit of giggles, flopping down on the bed behind his brother. The weed hadn’t really given him a high, just made him feel slightly out of breath and his lungs hurt. 

Ben stood up to leave. He turned once he reached the door; Klaus still had his face smashed into the pillow. “I, uh, I just wanted to tell you that some orchids spread onto my back today, and it got me thinking. What if you have something on your back? You wouldn’t know; getting flowers doesn’t hurt.”

Klaus lifted his head just enough to make his words audible. “I do have something on my back, but it’s ugly and it hurt like a bitch when it appeared.”

Ben’s mouth dropped, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was embarrassed, and I didn’t want everyone to find out.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” Ben whispered solemnly, slowly stepping back into the room. “Let me see it.”

Klaus groaned but rucked up his shirt nonetheless; Ben always let him see his flowers anyway. 

“August 23, 1968,” Ben read in the moonlight. “What do you suppose that means?”

“That my soulmate was dead before I was even born,” Klaus muttered into the cotton pillowcase. “Go figure.” He didn’t mean to cry, didn’t even realize he was until Ben put a hand on his quaking shoulder.

“Klaus, I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s not your fault.”

Klaus laughed wetly, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not like they would like me very much anyway.”

“Don’t say that,” Ben said earnestly. “You’re a great guy.”

“I’m pretty sure, as my brother, you’re obliged to say that.” 

“I wouldn’t say that about Luther if you held me at gunpoint,” Ben deadpanned. 

Klaus was almost positive it was a ploy to cheer him up because Ben admired Luther even if he thought he was a dumbass. Klaus laughed anyway. 

“I guess that makes me feel better.”

“Good,” Ben rose, and for a second, Klaus forgot he had even shown Ben his nasty soulmark. “I’m going to go now; both of us need sleep.” He paused at the door once again. “I won’t tell anyone about your mark. And Klaus?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you should stop drinking.”

Ben closed the door behind himself before Klaus could respond, leaving his brother staring dumbly at the wood. Klaus remained stuck in that position until exhaustion or whatever drug was in his system finally carried him off to sleep.


	2. HYDRANGEA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where there is beauty, there will always be pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOOOO SORRY FOR THE WAIT!!!! 
> 
> I literally wrote the first chapter, and my life was like "Hey, remember me? Have a ton of shit all at the same time bc you're definitely stable enough for that!"
> 
> It was hell.
> 
> This one's a bit shorter but enjoy, I guess!

“Is it weird knowing you have a gigantic tentacle monster chilling in your stomach?” Klaus asked Ben one day, hanging upside down off the side of his bed.

“It hurts sometimes,” Ben answered nonchalantly, flipping the page of his book. He was settled on the floor. “I think it might be addicted to killing. It started to move and push if it goes too long without.”

“That sucks,” Klaus hummed. “I really thought you two would be all buddy-buddy.”

Ben laughed dryly, “Unfortunately not.”

They both looked up when the door creaked open. Klaus didn’t bother turning over; they would have known if it was their father. 

“Diego! How lovely of you to join us!” Klaus smiled, still half off the bed.

“Shut up,” Diego grumbled, shuffling across the room to take a seat on the bed next to Klaus. 

“Rude. Did you not want to brood alone today?” Diego pushed him. “What the fuck!”

Ben sighed and closed his book, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Diego pulled his knees up to his chest.

“Yeah, like you’d come into Klaus’ room if nothing was the matter. So what is it?” It was worded like a question but came out as a demand. 

Klaus rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself up. “We should do a therapy circle,” he suggested in a joking manner. The mood seemed heavy, too heavy, and Klaus had never been very good at handling serious situations. They made him anxious. It didn’t help that the new weed his dealer supplied made him extremely conscious of everything that happened around him. 

“Ok,” Ben nodded, and Klaus’ eyes widened almost comically. “If it gets him to talk.”

Times like these reminded Klaus that being the gentle, caring sibling was Vanya’s job. Ben showed he cared in a more aggressive, assertive manner, sometimes demanding answers instead of just being a listener. That never stopped Klaus from chattering away until his jaw was sore and Ben had a headache. Aside from Vanya, Ben was the only sibling that had never told Klaus to shut up. But even that didn’t mean Ben wouldn’t kick his ass in training or punch him if he was acting stupid. 

Klaus crossed his legs on the sheets, hands in his lap. “I’ll start! Today I walked in on Luther and Allison kissing, and Luther slammed me into the wall accidentally in his rush to get out.” He paused for a second. “And my bruise looks like two bunnies getting it on.”  He smiled and nodded to Ben, who pursed his lips but didn’t comment. Klaus knew he was pissed that he hadn’t heard of it before.

“Umm, the monster started pushing at my stomach today. I told Dad, and he said I’d have to suck it up until the next mission.”

Both of them turned their attention to Diego; he had managed to tear a hole in the blanket. He groaned dramatically, “This is stupid.”

“Cut it out, Diego. Just say it so we can try to help,” Ben said stiffly. He was like Five- bless the bastard wherever he was; he had zero patience. He had gotten better over the years though; Ben had Klaus to thank for that.

“Dadwantstodoanothertanksession,” Diego mumbled under his breath.

“What?"

“D-dad wants to d-do another tank s-session,” Diego managed, his lip beginning to quiver. 

“I thought he said they were useless. He said you could hold your breath forever.”

“He said he needs m-more d-data.”

Suddenly Klaus was far away. The voices around him were still loud and clear, but it was as if he was watching from far away. The tank was Diego’s mausoleum: a sealed container of lukewarm water. Nothing to do but float around or watch the old Western movies their father played on the small, staticky television, distorted and silent because of the water. Diego could be gone for a day and shiver for a month. It never failed to take Klaus back to the musty mausoleum with the screaming and the moaning and the crying out for a god that doesn’t exist. Or at least didn’t think he was worth listening to. 

“I’ve been thinking about that actually,” Ben said, breaking the silence. “I think Dad might let you out of it if you argued a good reason.”

“I’m a damn human not a fish,” Diego growled suddenly. 

There was a long stretch of silence as Ben picked at his nails, refusing to say what they all knew.

“That’s not a good enough reason,” Klaus whispered, and Diego scowled at him. 

“Then what the hell am I supposed to say?”

Ben took a second to consider his next words, “You have to make him see that a session isn’t in  _ his _ best interest. Otherwise, you might as well be talking to a brick wall.”

Diego bit his lip, holding in a smart remark in favor of getting Ben’s help. “What do you think I should say?”

“Tell him that you’ve never used your breath-holding power thingy before, so gathering information for it is useless. He knows about your ability to curve anything you throw, so maybe offer to train or get data for that instead. You use it more anyway. Just make sure he knows that the breathing power is irrelevant.”

Diego nodded and stood up to leave. “Uh, thanks… I guess.”

Ben rolled his eyes at the closing door. “I thought you’re supposed to go to your leader with your problems.”

Klaus snorted, the room coming back to him slowly but surely. “I think Diego would kill himself before he went to Luther for help.”

Ben shrugged. “Do you want to see my Baby’s-breath?”

Klaus nodded enthusiastically, and Ben rucked up his shirt to reveal the bundle of tiny flowers nestled between his shoulder blades. Klaus traced the buds with his fingertips reverently, like they would disappear if he pressed down too hard. “What does this one mean?” Klaus whispered.

“Innocence, purity, love everlasting. It gets more specific with color, but I won’t know that until I meet them.”

Klaus traced the stalks, lips parted in awe. “It’s pretty.”

They lapsed into silence again. As the years went on, Klaus developed more and more of an affinity with the flowers. Even though he didn’t have any of his own, they comforted him. Flowers in general made Klaus feel calm, like he could breath, like he was going to be fine one day. Whenever Klaus had panic attacks or crashed hard, Ben would trace flowers into his skin, either with his finger or a pen. Klaus never thanked him, but he figured it was understood.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Luther?” Ben asked, breaking the silence.

Klaus bit his lip. “It was an accident.”

“That’s never stopped you from telling me before.”

Klaus shifted his focus down to the orchids. 

“Klaus, what are you not telling me?”

“The bruise,” Klaus said eventually, his tone a bit brighter. “It looks like a flower. I have two marigolds of my own.”

Ben never told him about the tears that ran down his face.

Hargreeves were made of steel.

Fifteen and already so grown up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that gave feedback and suggestions and liked this fic. Y'all make my world go round. It was really effing nice to be able to look at this profile and see that people actually enjoyed what I created. Seriously, I can't thank you guys enough. I've got story pretty much mapped out which is good. I will definitely be using some of your suggestions about relationships and stuff. Y'all think of more than I do. 
> 
> So thank you again and please drop kudos or a comment!


	3. CYPRESS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shock always comes first. Then denial...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is even shorter, but I promise the story picks up. Exposition chapters hurt my soul so enough of those. I wrote this one way faster than the last one but don't know if that's necessarily a good thing or a bad thing. Whatever. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Klaus ducked behind a counter as a masked man fired three shots in his direction. There was screaming all around him: hostages, criminals, Luther shouting orders. Klaus covered his ears and curled up, trying to block out the noises. There weren’t any ghosts, not with Klaus in the state he was. The loud sound of crashing filled the air, undeterred by Klaus’ gaunt hands. Ear piercing screams erupted, and Klaus peeked over the counter, seeing the masked man turn towards the commotion. He fumbled through the contents on the counter and found a paperweight. His aim wasn’t as good as Diego’s, but he wasn’t completely hopeless. By some miracle, the heavy object connected with the back of the man’s head, and he fell to the ground, hitting the stone floor with a smack. Klaus ducked down again as more masked individuals entered the open room, drawn to the sound of their buddy’s defeat. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths; somehow, he always managed to get separated from everyone else. When he opened his eyes again, Ben was sitting next to him. 

“Jesus, don’t sneak up on me like that!” he whisper-shouted. 

“For a guy who says he’s agnostic, your exclamations contain a ton of Christian references.”

Klaus rolled his eyes and took Ben in. “Did you change?”

Ben looked down at his outfit. Black jeans and a black jacket. “I guess I did. My uniform must have been destroyed after the monster came out. Funny, I don’t remember putting this on.”

The screaming throughout the rest of the building had quieted down; the rest of the team must have wrapped up while Klaus was hiding from the masked men.

“Okay, there were two guys over by that dead guy right before you came in. Are they still there?” 

“I’ll check.” Ben got into a crouching position and slowly stood up, just enough for his eyes to poke over the top of the counter. After surveying the room and deeming it empty, Ben stood up all the way. “All clear. It looks like they took his weapons though. If they left, the rest of the team probably got them.” 

Klaus was about to stand up as well when the last remaining masked men charged into the room. Ben didn’t have time to duck. The man paid no attention to him, sprinting across the blood-slick floors, semi-automatic clutched tightly in his arms. Ben looked down at Klaus, confusion clear on his face. Before Klaus could say anything, Luther slammed through the entryway, cracking the wall where he collided with it. 

“COME BACK, COWARD!” he screamed. “FACE ME, ASSHOLE. ANSWER FOR WHAT YOU DID!”

Klaus and Ben made eye contact again; that was the first time either of them had ever heard Luther curse. Luther bolted after the fleeing man, cornering him against the back wall. Sensing his lack of escape options, the masked man whipped around, brandishing the gun. Klaus heard the sound of Diego’s knives rushing through the air, and the man grunted and dropped the gun, a knife embedded in each of his wrists. Klaus slowly rose to his feet beside Ben. Luther and Diego were too preoccupied to notice. If the circumstances had been any different, Klaus would have made his presence known with a comment about them finally working together. The atmosphere was too heavy for that.

Luther lifted the man up by the neck, talking in a hushed voice. He was crying; Klaus could tell. Meanwhile, Diego walked over to one of the counters and grabbed a lamp, yanking the shade off and smashing the bulb against the floor. Luther didn’t even turn to look at him. Eventually, after Luther was done speaking, he stood to the side, still holding the man up against the wall. His feet dangled and spasmed. Diego had backed up, testing the weight of the lamp in his hand. 

“Do it,” Luther whispered, his voice cracking.

Diego took a running start and launched what was left of the lamp at the man, manipulating it in midair. It picked up speed and smashed through the man’s chest. Dead center. Luther let go, and the dead man hung there, twitching silently. Blood ran down the wall like paint, thick and deep red. The two boys stepped back and turned to leave the room again. Their eyes were immediately drawn to the counter where Ben and Klaus were standing. 

“Klaus,” Luther’s voice drifted through the air, shaking. “Come here.” He was trying desperately to maintain his bravado, but it was already shattered. Their leader was broken. 

Klaus looked over at Ben, who shrugged, and they walked around the counter together. 

“That was a little brutal, don’t you think?” Ben said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Luther and Diego ignored him.

“Where’s Allison?” Klaus asked, suddenly worried about the missing teammate.

“She, umm,” Luther struggled. Diego just stared ahead blankly. “She’s in the back room with…” He took a deep breath as a new round of tears filled his eyes. “With Ben.”

Klaus shook his head, lifting his hand to rest it on Ben’s shoulder. “What do you mean? Ben’s right he-” He cut himself off when his hand went right through Ben’s body. Suddenly the air was too thick, and Klaus couldn’t breathe. Ben looked equally horrified, locking eyes with Klaus as he sunk to the floor. Klaus barely caught Ben’s next words.  

“I’m dead?” he whispered, looking at his hands in disbelief. 

Klaus was on the floor next to him in an instant. He wanted to reach out, to comfort his brother, but he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. He tasted acid in his throat and swallowed down the urge to vomit as best he could. It was Diego who helped him off the floor. 

“Come on. We need to get back to Allison.” 

Klaus’ eyes were locked on Ben collapsed on the floor until Diego pulled him from the room. Aside from the bloody, cold, flowerless body laid out with its head in Allison’s lap, that was the last Klaus saw of Ben for two years.

He was completely alone when everything fell apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is going to be marinally canon compliant which is basically my excuse to not rewrite all the events of season one. Y'all know the story so there really isn't a point. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are the best, and feedback lights up my life!


	4. DAFFODIL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A familiar face at a hard time can get you through the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait; I'm a lazy ass. Idk what this counts as, but it's a chapter and that's all that matters.

Klaus couldn’t even see straight when he stumbled into the alley next to the shitty bar he’d been loitering in for the past seven hours. The music sucked and the air was so thick with smoke and haze that at times it was hard to see, but the alcohol was cheap and the owner didn’t care if you reached over the bar to refill your glass with whatever the hell was within reach. The whole place was only a front anyway, so bums lounging around trying to score free drinks were the least of the owner’s concerns. Klaus had snuck into the back once, and he’d gotten the shit beaten out of him. 

_ “I like you, Klaus,” _ the owner had said when the two bouncers (if that’s what you’d call them) dropped Klaus’ battered form at his feet.  _ “So I’m going to let you go. Hell, you can even pop back in anytime. Just don’t pull that shit again, okay?” _

Klaus had nodded dumbly; he’d been too wasted to remember anyway.

The alley was covered in a solid sheen of water, murky and foul smelling, and it splashed against Klaus’ shins as his heavy footfalls echoed against the brick and concrete. He fumbled in his pocket for a smoke and lit up, pausing for a second to lean against the outside of the buildings as the first drags overcame him. Klaus took a deep breath and pushed himself up, staggering slightly. The world was swimming, but he figured he was walking straight enough. He hadn’t crashed into the alley’s sides yet. A particularly deep puddle swallowed Klaus’ entire left foot, black high top disappearing below the murky water. It smelled like sewage. Klaus pulled his foot out and watched it drip. The laughter that followed was loud and uncontrollable, bordering obnoxious, but Klaus didn’t care. His life was shit, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it, not that he would it there was. 

“Keep that up, and a lot of people you don’t want around will be all up on your ass. With the state you’re in, you might have trouble getting rid of them,” an annoyed voice sounded from behind him. 

“Yeah yeah, and are you one of them?”

“People you don’t want on your ass? No, I don’t fit that description. Hard to get rid of? Like you don’t even know.”

“Do I know you? Did my brother send you? Diego? Kinda emo, angsty, too many knives?”

“No, I’m here of my own free will. I bypassed eternal peace to be the angel on your shoulder.”

Klaus spun around, eyes widening and mouth dropping open when he saw Ben standing there, hands in his pockets, form surrounded by a faint glow. 

“Oh my god, wait, how are you here?”

“A strong will can get you all sorts of places,” Ben said, smiling. “Not that you would know.”

“Oh, haha, we’ve got a comedian,” Klaus drawled back, turning away from the ghostly body of his brother and continuing through the alley. Ben followed behind him silently. “Besides, I don’t need a guardian angel or whatever you’re trying to be. As you can see, I am fine.”

“Right, owning two pairs of clothes and not being able to remember the last six years of your life is ‘fine.’”

Klaus decided to ignore his sarcastic air quotes. “Like things would have ended any differently if you were here.”

Klaus jumped when Ben appeared in front of him. He took a step back when Ben shoved a threatening finger into his face, forgetting for a second that he was only a ghost. “Let’s get one this straight: None of this,” he gestured to Klaus and the alley. “Would have happened if I were around. And I didn’t spend the past six years watching you fuck up your life, struggling to break through the veil and your stupid haze to have you act like you’re just  _ ‘fine _ .’”

Klaus narrowed his eyes at the ghost of his brother but didn’t argue further. Ben narrowed his eyes as well, and they stood there for a few minutes, unmoving, the cigarette grasped between Klaus’ fingers dropping and fizzling out. 

“So,” Klaus’ voice cracked on the syllable. “How do you plan on fixing me now?”

“I can’t,” Ben sighed. “I can’t make you do anything. I can’t touch you, remember?” Ben reached out, hand passing through Klaus’ shoulder. “I can’t even keep you alive.”

“Then what’s the point?”

“I can help with the loneliness, and I can get rid of bad ghosts when you crash.”

“You really left an eternity of happiness for this?”

“It wouldn’t be if I knew my brother was suffering. Eternal peace is overrated anyway.”

Klaus huffed a laugh and began walking again, careful to step around Ben and not through him. Ben followed beside him, steps silent as they exited the alley. 

“You should go to Diego’s,” Ben prompted. 

“He doesn’t want to see me.”

“Maybe not, but he won’t turn you away.”

Klaus ended up spending the night with Diego.

_ “You can have the bed,”  _ he’d said.  _ “I’ll be out all night anyway.” _

Ben was able to persuade him not to go through Diego’s things for spare cash when he woke up the next morning. 

Klaus wouldn’t admit it, but having Ben around was oddly therapeutic. It was just like old times. Even if he didn’t listen, a second opinion always made things easier, allowed him to see a side that he had been blind to before. 

_ “Help that man out,”  _ Ben would say, and Klaus would protest but do it anyway.

Or  _ “Don’t go down there, there are a lot of ghosts.” _ And even though Klaus couldn’t see them anymore, he would steer clear of that particular alley or building or whatever else Ben happened to be talking about.

Ben would even watch Klaus’ drink at bars or clubs.

_ “That guy slipped you something.” _

_ “What did it look like?” _

_ “White pill, kinda like an oval.” _

_ “Perfect, at least it wasn’t a shitty one.” _

Klaus finished the drink off anyway, despite Ben’s protesting, and Ben disappeared for the night.

After yet another blackout night that ended with Klaus taking over Diego’s vacant bed, Ben tried to reason with him.

“Do you even remember what happened last night?” he asked, arms crossed over his chest.

“Nope,” Klaus replied, popping the P. “That’s the best part.” He lit a cigarette.

Ben sighed and sat down on a low wall. “No, it will get you killed.”

“So what! Huh? What about it? Why do you care anyway? You’re already dead!”

Ben pushed up the sleeves of his jacket. His arms were pale and blank. Klaus turned away, breaking the cigarette in half between his fingers. 

“I am, and this is what I lost.”

“You can’t use that against me,” Klaus scoffed, voice weak. “I never had one.”

“You did.”

“No, they were dead before I was born.”

“Then you wouldn’t have gotten them. If your soulmate could be from any point in time, people would be matching with cavemen or Julius Caesar or something.”

Klaus hated that he was right. 

“Look,” Ben sat on the bed next to him. “We live in a world with limitless possibilities. Allison can sweet talk people into doing whatever the hell she wants, Diego  _ learned  _ a new superpower just because he wanted to, and you, well, you’re literally listening to a ghost give you live advice right now. Time travel, that’s nothing.”

Klaus swallowed. He took a deep breath before speaking. “I don’t want a soulmate.”

“What?” Ben’s face betrayed his disbelief. “Ever since we were kids, you’ve always—”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it,” Klaus cut him off. “Sort of. I’m not the same little kid that begged you to sneak out so I could look at those stupid flowers.”

“You don’t mean that.”

Klaus didn’t speak for a long while after that.

“You’re right… but if I never have anyone, I’ll never have to lose them. I can’t, no, I won’t go through that again.” He lit another cigarette and took a long drag, eyes suddenly far away, nicotine thick and buzzing in his lungs.

Ben pulled his hood on, not wanting to leave but never wishing for his brother to see his tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it angst or is it more positive? Does it even make sense? 
> 
> Look fam, idk what was going on in my brain. I was just like 'Hey, that soulmate story that you dedicated so much thought to hasn't been updated in forever, you should probably do that.' 
> 
> Also y'all have probably figured it out by now, but the flower in the chapter title can sort of foreshadow what the chapter is about or something that happens or a mood. It's not technically spoilers, but it's a little detail I've been trying to make work.
> 
> Kudos and comments? I love the rants and long comments I've been getting, y'all are literally the best.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the start of a hopefully long journey. Knowing me, though, I might give up halfway through. I will try my hardest not to. I'm kinda screwed with Allison and Vanya. I don't want to use Luther bc just no. Leonard/Harold is the same, but idk who else to do. IF YOU HAVE SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE SHARE. I'm struggling. Other than that, I'll figure shit out along the way. Tags will most likely change as well as relationships once I set that straight. Title is from a Troye Sivan song. 
> 
>  
> 
> Drop kudos and a comment if you enjoyed. They really do make my day and inspire me to get my ass in gear.
> 
>  
> 
> All my love, beautiful humans!


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